A Few Days Solo in San Diego… my reflections

My partner took off to a regional burn called Wasteland in Southern California earlier this week.  I was still in San Diego for a few days.   I learned a bit while he was gone.  I learned that I think I liked being sad that he was gone.  It felt romantic.  It was definitely a choice to be sad.  A choice I seemed to like, especially at night when I had to go to bed alone.  While I thought a friend might stay with me, that didn’t end up happening.

I also got to feel what San Diego feels like without him.  I have made friends there but it’s still very different than being home solo in Kalamazoo, MI.  I’m more established here in Kalamazoo and I have my own things, friends, more to do.

I really loved getting the apartment ready for his return without me there.  I bought him beer for the fridge.  I left him leftover food.  I washed the sheets.  I did all these little things around the apartment as a way of hopefully reminding him of me.

My hope is that he had a lot of time to reflect while he wandered the desert at night.  I know that he thought of me in those moments, as he sent a few texts expressing so.  But we haven’t debriefed yet, as I type this, so I am only imagining what his time was like.

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