“Why aren’t you spending the day with your kids?!”
“I’m a mom every day of the year. I think a day off is the best way to spend Mother’s Day,” I said with a grin.
When I divorced, we didn’t determine arrangements around many holidays. The only holidays we specified were Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Eve, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day. The last three were just because they are popular summer holidays. The first two because they are popular family holidays. We aren’t religious so that played zero part in what holidays we celebrate and where our kids celebrate them. We were really just working with what our needs were.
Mother’s Day is not something we chose to work around. If I have the kids that weekend, then I will celebrate Mother’s Day with them. This year I was kid-free. Just the way I prefer to spend Mother’s Day at this stage in my life.
When I’m older and don’t have kids living at home, I’m sure that will change. But if you ask moms with kids at home, especially moms that spend a lot of their day with their kids, like I do, many would love a day to themselves for Mother’s Day. Or maybe they have a mom they would like to spend it with, without children. The options are endless.
My mom passed away 13 years ago. My grandmothers are also no longer alive. Mother’s Day is not my favorite holiday. Spending it doing something I want to do, not as a mom, fits the bill perfectly.
This year I woke up with one of my favorite mom’s. She’s one of my closest friends. I bid her farewell and headed off to Chicago to attend a Cuddle Party. At the Cuddle Party I connected with a new friend I had met at a previous Cuddle Party and didn’t even shed one tear, surprisingly. I didn’t know what to expect that day as I had cried in the shower and had a few tears run down my face during my 3+ hour solo car ride to the event. Instead, he held me for several minutes immediately after I walked in the door, almost late. I assume he sensed my anxiety and stress from the traffic and definitely some from the weight of the holiday. When it came time to cuddle, we chatted in the most sex geeky way, talking about yoni massage, Betty Dodson, and how many women have never taken a good look at their vulvas. We slow danced and spooned. I spent almost the entire Cuddle Party with him.
I was mothered by the Cuddle Party community. Many of us in attendance were there because it was Mother’s Day and we needed that nurturing touch. I wasn’t sure, before I committed, that it was how I wanted to spend my Mother’s Day. Moving forward, I want to make a tradition of a Cuddle Party on Mother’s Day. It was the perfect way to mother myself and to let other’s mother me.