Find an Enthusiastic Partner and Everyone Wins

We made plans. We had been together three times over the last three weeks. Each was more fun than the last. He is over a decade younger. He sports hair as cool as his tech-y job. He’s in the kink world. I’ve classified him as a switch (although now I see from his profile that he does now too) from our little power exchanges in our previous sexy times. He has these dimples on his lower back that make great handles. He’s as fun as he is delicious.

It was Sunday afternoon. I messaged to say hello and hope to get some plans on the books. I’m that assertive “mature” woman that tends to take charge, not afraid to ask for what she wants. A few hours later he had settled on his schedule for the week and I was offered his Monday night. It just so happened to be the night that I had suggested would work best for me. “So I have an interesting idea” his follow up text said. My interest was peaked. The fun thing about him was his initiative to ask for what he wanted. The first time we were together, he prepared by reading my fetish list on a popular kink website and knew what he could feel comfortable asking for. Bonus, I love giving “firsts” (experiences) to my partners. This night would knock two more items off his list. (I had knocked one off the first night we were together.)

We moved our conversation to a phone call, negotiating the details. What did he want? What did I want? What did he envision? Was I ok with his ideas? This is the beauty of our time in the kink scene…we can, and want, to talk about the experience before it happens.

What did we have planned? A series of power exchanges that started with him in the dominant role that transitioned into me being in the dominant role which included pegging. Pegging is when a partner penetrates the other with a strap-on dildo. I have provided a lot of anal play to my partners over the years but never with the use of a strap-on. It was a dream of mine. I had purchased a “starter” harness way earlier this year but had yet to put it to use.

I’ve had a few men ask me to peg them but it had never felt right. They were usually first time partners. This is a way too intimate act for me to do with someone I barely know. First, I was inexperienced. I needed a first partner to be someone I felt safe with. I needed to know that if it didn’t go well, we would be ok and I wouldn’t be too embarrassed. Second, penetrating a partner requires them to be vulnerable with blind faith that I’m going to keep them safe, physically and emotionally. I liken it very much to many aspects of bdsm/kink. It’s about trust.

Foreplay started when I was preparing, getting all the possible needed supplies around. Lube, condoms, dildo options, my harness. It was a turn on. It brought on fantasies but more so, it felt like an act of service towards my partner. Something I was doing for HIM.

I’m not going to discuss the details but we had an incredible evening. I don’t know that I’ve ever had that much fun (in bed) before. The power exchange was something I had to warm up to, as I’m a submissive at heart. But once I found my groove, I was sold. I can’t wait to do it again!  In the mean time, enjoy this clip.  🙂


If you would like more information about pegging, I HIGHLY recommend a website and podcast called “Pegging Paradise“.  Ruby Ryder, the host of the show, does a fantastic job talking about the ins and outs of pegging (no pun intended), sharing success stories, etc.  As she likes to say, she’s “changing the world one ass at a time.”  She’s a mentor of mine and I’m fortunate to be invited to talk about my experience, now that I’ve had one, on her show.  I will be sure to add a link when it happens.

Listen to my interview with Ruby Ryder where we discuss my experience in much more detail.  It was a fun interview!

For curious minds, yes, he approved of this post.  🙂

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