About a month ago I met a handsome young man for a drink on a Wednesday afternoon. I don’t date 20 somethings but this gentleman I made an exception for. He was military and had a lot of life experience I couldn’t compete with. He was sexually open and our text made it clear he would be a lot of fun. Age being a factor, we had already agreed this wouldn’t be a serious relationship but someone fun to sexually experiment with. We sat for an hour or so and I felt like it wasn’t right. He didn’t make eye contact with me when he spoke. He always looked beyond me. I am used to men making such great eye contact that I get uncomfortable. When we parted ways I got the one arm, half hug. Yep, it was a no-go. I’ve been the rejector many times. This was my first rejection. I shot him a text telling him I could tell he wasn’t into me and that it was ok. I offered that if he was interested in meeting others in the kink community, I would be happy to introduce him. I wish others would let me off the hook so gracefully. (If I don’t return your text more than once, stop texting me.)

But that rejection dug a little at me. I began to question why I was rejected. Old insecurities creeped in. Was it something I said? I didn’t think I got too into what I am sure were opposing politics. Was it my body? I had sent him a link to my blog. I have never hid my body type. Even on my dating profile I try to make it clear that I’m a curvy woman. I had a friend suggest I ask him. Nope. I don’t need to know as I wouldn’t change anything based on his answer. I needed to use this as an opportunity to feel rejection and move past the self doubt that wanted to creep into my thoughts.

It would be a few weeks before I met my next date. How would this event affect me?  Read the follow up here.

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